Tuesday, 31 May 2016

Week3 Day 4 Back in the woods 😁

Day trip to the woods today.... Why we had to go all the way to Goring and hike half an hour to get to a spot I could have found 10 mins away from NGA I don't know but my opinion isn't required anymore so I just stay quiet.... 

Not sure if it's wishful thinking but John did seem more encouraging towards me today.... I actually got a 'good, nice' before he re choreographed it.... I'm actually being very vindictive but that's just the way I'm feeling I'm afraid... 

Today was an ok day and tomorrow is a day off in the sun so feeling relieved. 



4th and final Week - whoop. Day 1

8.30am So I woke up this morning thinking 'I wonder how much I can get wrong today...' So a positive start...
It's photos today, filming Wed, Thurs, Fri. Then figuring out what we do for the VIP event on sat. Then it's over until July... 

8pm A good day... Lovely photographe, Nick, who made you feel good about what he was capturing. Quite an easy day and finished at 5pm A WHOLE HOUR EARLY!!!! John seems happy with the product. Let's bring on the filming.... 


Friday, 27 May 2016

Week 3 Day 3 😰😖

Unfortunately another day in the life of feeling like a crap dance. General notes - don't wobble....
Oh and remember all that material you spent 3hrs recapping on Tuesday and that I never bothered to look at... Its all cut..... Except for a few snippets which you can teach Effie & Harriet because they will be able to make it look much better.... 

Not sure how much more I can take really before I break... 

Hey ho nearly over..... 

Email sent to John.....
Deborah Camp
Hi john Just wanted to ask. Do I need to remember any of my other material or do I 
assume it's not needed. Debbie
nocturndance
Debbie For Memories we are now all sorted thank you. John Sent from my iPhone
Deborah Camp
Books? Jobs? People?
nocturndance
Can we keep in our pot for potential use in the live element, thanks. John
Deborah Camp
to nocturndance
4 days ago
Details
Ok will do. 

P.s. Sorry I haven't come up to standard, I am doing my best which I am very aware is not good enough yet but I will keep trying...... Feeling quite vulnerable... I'm not wanting to put 'my stuff' onto you but it obviously effects my output which ultimately effects your product... I need to cultivate a more positive outlook but finding that very hard at the moment... 

I'm not expecting you to respond to this but wanted to let you know where I'm at.....  

He didn't respond......

Wednesday, 25 May 2016

Week 3 day 2 😄

What a difference a day makes. Actually enjoyed today. We have a laugh and still worked hard. John was in a more sociable mood and even joined us for lunch. 
Phew not sure I could have dealt with another sole destroying day. 
Feels like we are in the home stretch now. Only Fri & Sat left this week and next week will be mainly filming. 

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

Week 3 Day1 😢😕

Feeling quite sad and miserable about the whole thing now... Mine and johns friendships seems to be non-existent. I'm afraid to say anything as I don't want to create an atmosphere. At the moment we are all doing a fairly reasonable job of getting on with it and suppressing what's going on in our heads. I was basically ignored all afternoon which is partly fine as he was working on Effie & Harriet's duet but the occasional 'are you ok' or 'how's it going?' or an acknowledgement that I was getting NO attention  and maybe a thank you for working alone for 3hrs would have gone a long way... He just seems to have forgotten to treat me like a friend and is treating me like foda. I KNOW IM NOT AS GOOD AS EFFIE & HARRIET, I said that in the audition but I am the dancer that I am. 

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Week 2 Thursday Day 5 😕

A very dull and joyless day... Harriet wasn't really on form and john was being 'serous john' and I was just trying to do what I was told but seemed to be failing at every turn.... 

We had yet another set pointless tasks. One with hands clasped moving in a ferocious way. 

So in conclusion it been a challenging week. The only day I really enjoyed was doing duet work with Harriet. At last I felt like I was dancing. 

Still feeling like an underling not helped by John saying Debbie if you go behind Effie or behind Harriet or sometimes behind both of them (translation I don't like what you doing so let's hide you) 
Feel that I'm not giving John the movement quality he wants. 
He's not happy the dancers aren't happy and its all very flat.
BUT I am learning a lot and it has reinvigoured me. Although I am tired in the mornings and 7 hours in the studio in less than inviting I am always much better after class and actually feel more awake and alive than usual at the end of the day. My body isn't getting beat up, achy yes but not battered and bruised. I like the single minded nature of it. Get up go to work come home, eat bath bed. My brain is calmer... I guess when I'm not there I can switch off which is different to normal weeks as I'm always changing my head space to the next class. 

Would I do it again..... The dury is still out on this one..... 

Wednesday Day 4 Week 2 😖

Today's pointless I mean complex task.... 
'What do you take to bed with you?'

AM
Different types of Work - not to literal, but recognisable without being too fancy or going into mine..... 
PM 
Different types of People 
Phrase from standing, getting into bed, sleeping, being interrupted, going back to sleep, reaching for phone getting up. 

Finished at 4.30!!

Annoyances - john changing the schedule to suit his own personal needs... 
John being late and then cutting into our class time (only given 40mins) 
Short lunch break and no tea breaks mid morn/afternoon. 
Giving us the plan for the day and then not sticking to it...
Telling me & Effie to on'y be 15 mins or he would come looking fir us!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Week 2 Day 3 - conversations without words 😀

A good day. I finally got to play with Harriet and whilst I was initially worries how this would go I soon got into the flow and it felt like we were working well together and producing interesting results. She is great at partner work, know what she wants and I was happy to appease her and allow her to be top dog esp. as she was happy to do all the hard lifting and I could just look pretty.  A much more satifiying day than yesterday.

Tasks - circular moment with torso and arms passing an object (gaffe tape) between the three of us. 
Add in stops, rewinds, repeats. 
Add in speed variation. 
Add in moments of tension
(The original task of on,y using torso and arms soon went out of the window.... ) 

Harriet and me were asked to make a duet with tension, push & pull. Harriet concentrating on internal body manipulation, me expansive circular movement. It was a difficult start but piece by piece we managed to create a duet. 
Effie was set a solo task and then inevitably the two were spliced together into a trio. 








Monday, 9 May 2016

Day 3 Week 1

Wednesday at NGA 10-6pm
Not such an early start as we are at Greenham today and I have nobody to pick up. Enroute I stopped at Boots to get all manor of foot protection. Strapping, cushioned pads & insoles. Got to NGA in good time to get a cup of tea and to strap up my feet. 

Today's task- horizontal circles with body parts. Followed by spiral, jump, twist, 7 isolations, position travel. 

Message to John... No reply...
Great day in the office today John. I really enjoyed working with Harriet. I hope your pleased about how it's going... We seem to be making progress each day so that's a positive...  Remember if you need an ear to bend mine is available. Xx

Sunday, 8 May 2016

And its all done for week 1


Some what of an anti climax tonight... Second nights are always strange but having Nita, Patricia, Pauline, Malcolm &'D@nga all watching me I thought would have been enough to give me the first night adrenaline but no... I was very under whelmed and found my mind wandering mid piece and looking forward to it being over... 
Tired now and happy to be home. 

Referring back to last Sunday's post - 

Just 14 hours to go....Worries 

Will my body hack it? - yes it did. A few more bruises, blisters, aches and pains but nothing too seriouse. The worst part is my big toes and skin off.... So sore... 

Will my brain hack it? Yes... It got there in the end. It operated slightly slower than Effies & Harriet's but then I'm twice their age... 

Will I get on with Hartiet & Effie? Got on with both of them (Effie more than Harriet I think) 

Will they be better than me? Yes they were, but I did catch up. 

Will they bond and leave me out in the cold? They didn't leave me out in the cold but feel a little bit of an outsider. 

Will John drive me mad? At times but nothing major. 

Will I enjoy it? Did I enjoy it ???? Not sure! I learnt a lot and it was a challenge that've eventually rose to. I am happy that I did it.... 

And if not why oh why am I doing it? To challenge myself. To prove to myself I can still do it, I'm still a dancer. To feel worthwhile and 'special' 


Feedback from Carrie : your lines were a pleasure, losing that bit of weight was worth it. Your  long arms and legs shone?  And you were a lovely contrast to the other two. Gave you an angular edge. Hair was great, entrance  anthropomorphic like, I didnt recognise you! I felt safe watching you and your confidence in taking weight. Timing, energy, balance, spring, travelling all as one with your fellow dancers, a professional trio. Only on a turn upstage  was there a huh!?! Moment and one other little balance I think!?!? To re-iterate I felt comfortable watching , bloody incredible extension of your little tootsies? Keep on dancing!

Tuesday, 3 May 2016

Day Two

10-5pm at South Hill Park Bracknell 
Set off at 8am to go to shop and get lunch, go pick up Harriet & Effie in Thatcam to meet John at Chievely Village at 9am. 
The day didn't start well with John looking at his watch when we were 10 mins late even thou I'd pick up Harriet & Effie 5 mins earlier than planned... It's the bloody Thatcham traffic and rush hour, I soon put him in his place.... 
Slow journey to Bracknell. Got there just about 10am and started warm up 10.20 so not bad... 

I managed to cling on most of the day, falling by the wayside on a few occasions but mainly keeping up with the youngsters... The afternoon proved a challenge as my feet started to cause problems. The familiar pain in the joints which nothing seems to shift. Tried ice spray, ibuprofen gel but to it avail... Hobbled around like an old lady but managed to keep going.... 
Thights and back were screaming at me too and I wasn't exactly the fittest dancer in the room but I think Effie was feeling it too. Her feet were stinging and she eventually had to put on her trainers to continue. 
John is a hard task master and needs to consider our energy levels a bit more I feel. I know we are professional dancers but we are still human beings and counting 5,6,7,8 when you're still gasping for breath from the last run is, I feel, a little uncalled for. At the moment this is definitely the last time I want to do this with younger dancers. I just can't compete, they are younger, sharper, quicker. They always have been but at least now I have an excuse....! 



Monday, 2 May 2016

Day one

Well that was one of the easiest and most pleasant days work I've had in a long time....
Road trip to New Forest, walk in the woods, reflection time to write, pub lunch and homeward bound car choreography which was the weirdest thing ever and once again a surprise from John I didn't see coming... We even finished an hour early! So my first day has not been anything like I imagined. I hadn't even expected to be home yet... And when I did stagger through the door I was hoping for a big glass of wine and a bath. Turns out a nice cup of tea, a sit down and reflection on the day is all I desire. 

I completely failed on the not using technology... I had assumed it was just for rehearsal times but apparently it was supposed to be all day! I thought I was doing my duty this morning by facebooking & tweeting (got told off by the boss....) and here I am again now using my iPad and blogger..... Wore my fit bit all day... Is that technology.... Oh yes I guess it is....

Our first task was to write down things we don't do now that we used to do before new tech. An interesting exploration... No letter writing, less phone calls and real conversation, less use of library and dictionary, less map reading, more distractions, less cuddles in the morning..... to name but a few...

Sunday, 1 May 2016

Just 14 hours to go....

Worries 
Will my body hack it? 
Will my brain hack it? 
Will I get in with Hartiet & Effie? Will they be better than me? Will they bond and leave me out in the cold? 
Will John drive me mad? 
Will I enjoy it? And if not why oh why am I doing it?